The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. I was taking an essay test when a girl raised her hand and half-jokingly said "Can we finish this orally, my hand is starting to hurt." TWSS.

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    (3687 Laughs)

     
  2. I was in biology class and we had to make pie charts of our data, including a sliver of a section that was .25%. one girl got really frustrated and said "it's sooo hard! I can't fit it in, it's just too small." Our bio teacher, seeing that she was in distress, proceeded to say "wait, I'm coming!" TWSS.

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    (3301 Laughs)

     
  3. So me and some friends decided to have a water gun fight, well I ended up shooting one of them right in he face with my supersoaker and apparently some of it got up his nose. And he said, "Come on! If it had gone in my mouth I wouldn't have cared, but you had to shoot it up the wrong hole!." TWSS.

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    (2183 Laughs)

     
  4. My dad and I were driving past a hardware store, and we see a truck leaving the parking lot with a bunch of 2x4s in the back. As the truck turned onto the street, the 2x4s began to fall out of the truckbed. So my dad says, "Oh jeez that's no good, he hasn't even pulled out yet and he's already losing wood." TWSS

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    (2092 Laughs)

     
  5. Right before mini golfing, my date was pretty nervous because he didn't want to suck at it. He said "its pretty hard, but I can usually ease myself into the hole." I said, TWSS. He replied with "wow, I really opened myself up for that one." TWSS.

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    (1557 Laughs)

     
  6. My cousin's girlfriend was smelling flowers in a lilac bush. After spending a few moments smelling, she turned around and said "This bush smells so good, I just want to keep my face in it all day." TWSS.

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    (1517 Laughs)

     
  7. My friend and I decided to have a whip cream eating contest, we used aerosol cans, and halfway through my friend sprayed way to much and said, with her mouth full "AHH! It exploded in my mouth! But it tastes pretty good!" TWSS.

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    (1290 Laughs)

     
  8. Ok, one of my friends invited me to a lock-in at his church and at the lock-in they had Guitar Hero. Well everyone else was getting food and hanging out but we wanted to go play Guitar Hero some before everyone else came back. Apparently he's not very good at it and he didn't know that I am. So since there was only one guitar we were going to have to take turns and he said, "Ok, do you want to suck first or should I?" TWSS.

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    (1277 Laughs)

     
  9. My girlfriend and I were eating some 'Nerds' candy and noticed I was eating them one by one. She then went on to say "I like to just put a whole load in my mouth and suck on it" TWSS.

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    (1145 Laughs)

     
  10. I overheard my dad telling my mom how to check the oil level on her car. He told her to "pull out the stick, wipe it off, then put it back in. Then pull it out again and look at how much fluid is left on the stick." TWSS.

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    (1113 Laughs)

     
  11. I was listening to the new song 'Ego' by Beyonce. In the song she sings: "It's too big, it's too wide, it's too strong, it won't fit, It's too much, it's too tough" TWSS.

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    (1035 Laughs)

     
  12. Driving down the street today my mom decided to speed up to test out her new Infiniti FX35. My sister says wow mom you're going really fast to which my mom replies "Yeah, sometimes I like to open her up and play with her."TWSS

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    (929 Laughs)

     
  13. So my friend and I were sitting in home ec and our class was doing sewing one week. My friend was having a hard time getting the string through the needle so she asked my home ec teacher for help and my teacher told her to try out her needle instead. My friend got the string in with no problem and my home ec teacher said "Oh, I guess my hole was just big enough for you to fit it in." TWSS.

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    (818 Laughs)

     
  14. My brother was eating something nasty and we were all making a big deal out of it. He says, "I regretted it as soon as I put it in my mouth." TWSS.

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    (733 Laughs)

     
  15. I was talking to my wife on the phone and she mentioned that she had just taken our dog out in the middle of a rain storm. Concerned his wet fur would ruin the furniture, I told her not to let him on the couch. She replied, "Don't worry, I blew him dry." TWSS.

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    (695 Laughs)