The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. Today, my friends were driving and she was looking for a parking spot. she was passing a car and the car backed up without warning. then, she said "why the f*ck would you pull out right when im coming??" TWSS.

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    (670 Laughs)

     
  2. A group of friends and I were on Bourbon Street in the middle of a terrible rainstorm that had been going on for hours. It was so bad that there was over a foot of standing water flooding the streets and sidewalks. Halfway through the walk back to the hotel, a girl in the group said, “I’ve never been this wet before.” TWSS.

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    (595 Laughs)

     
  3. Today in math we were going over out homework when our entire class got stuck on one problem, it happened to be 69. My teacher says, "Come on guys, 69 isn't even that hard. Someone do 69 infront of the class now." TWSS.

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    (579 Laughs)

     
  4. A few of my buddies and I where sitting around at a local bar when we heard a knock on the door we where sitting by. Someone shouted to let them in, that's when my friend said to us, "He's not going to be able to get in the backdoor, there's a stool in the way." TWSS.

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    (532 Laughs)

     
  5. My friends and I went to see the new harry potter movie and Dumbledore said "just no matter what keep making me take it, even if you have to shove it down my throat." TWSS.

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    (527 Laughs)

     
  6. Today during tennis practice I heard the coach help out a beginner by saying, "make sure your grip on the shaft is tight and your strokes long and hard." TWSS.

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    (516 Laughs)

     
  7. My girlfriend accompanied me to my friend's house when she decided to join us for a game of Halo. Knowing that she liked the aesthetic value of things, I gave her the choice of two controllers. I asked her, "Would you like the black one or the white one?" She answered, "It doesn't matter. I'll suck on both." TWSS

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    (500 Laughs)

     
  8. Our swim coach was ALWAYS yelling at us for being slow and easy when we come off the blocks. He gave us a lecture the other day in which he said "you have to go in hard and come out wet and breathless. You'll feel good when you're done." TWSS.

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    (471 Laughs)

     
  9. So one day I was in the dollar store with some friends. One of them was pointing out some glow sticks she saw for sale. She then told a story about one of her prior experiences with one: "I was lying on my back in bed playing with it and it exploded in my face." TWSS.

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    (438 Laughs)

     
  10. I was at a celebratory lunch with my manager, director, and 8 other coworkers. Several of them ordered the special, which was a stuffed cheeseburger. When our food arrived, a woman at our table said she didn’t know how she was supposed to eat it because of the size. My manager replied, “you have to unhinge your jaw to get it all in.” TWSS.

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    (422 Laughs)

     
  11. My best friend and I had gotten foot longs from Subway. One side was a bit larger than the other so we saved the smaller side for later..after a night out my best friend finished the second half of her sandwich and sent me a text saying "best 4 inches ever" TWSS.

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    (415 Laughs)

     
  12. In art class we were making plaster hands. We had to take turns putting the plaster on somebody else's hand and then they would put it on ours. I was putting plaster on my friend's hand, trying to work slowly and carefully when suddenly my friend starts screaming: "Hurry up!! It's getting hard! It's getting hard!" without thinking I respond: "I'm trying! But it's getting all over my hands!" TWSS

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    (411 Laughs)

     
  13. Playing call of duty my friend says, "I can't go 2 minutes without getting railed from behind" TWSS

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    (407 Laughs)

     
  14. One day at lunchtime, my friend Shaun and I were alone in the classroom complaining how bad Comcast sucks and it was too bad it was the only cable company in the area. He continued by talking about how great Cox Cable was in his past experiences with them. Suddenly, with a look of joy and nostalgia, he cried out, "God, I love Cox!" TWSS.

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    (405 Laughs)

     
  15. I was telling a friend about how my dentist likes to make small talk while cleaning my teeth. I said, "It's so awkward, I hate how he always tries to have a conversation with me while he's in my mouth." TWSS.

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    (405 Laughs)