The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. So we were in a practice room in orchestra, and the new kid was drinking a juice box. He went to pick up and squeezed so it spilled juice. He then proceeds to say, "Oh man! I squirted!" TWSS.

    |



    (159 Laughs)

     
  2. Talking with a friend about an engineering design issue, he said, "I told him I could work with 5 inches but it would cost about $1,000 more than if he could give me 8 inches." TWSS.

    |



    (158 Laughs)

     
  3. Any time I use my corporate credit card I have to put the receipt in our bookkeeper's mailbox. Whenever she sees me putting a receipt in her mailbox she often jokes that I'm spending too much money. She usually watches me put the receipts in her mailbox, but the one time she didn't she comes out holding the receipt and says "Go ahead and stick it in there when I'm not looking. It won't make it hurt any less!" TWSS

    |



    (157 Laughs)

     
  4. Today I was driving back from the post office and I could see a car down the street ready to pull out in front of me. I said out loud "Don't pull out! DO NOT PULL OUT!" TWSS.

    |



    (155 Laughs)

     
  5. We were going to watch a video in class and we were having trouble getting the video into the VCR. Finally our teacher, out of frustration, said "Just shove it in as hard as you can!" TWSS

    |



    (155 Laughs)

     
  6. My chemistry teacher was explaining how although a meter and a yard are close in length, they are not interchangeable. To illustrate, she held up a yardstick in front of her and said, "You can't just whip it out and be like, this is a meter." TWSS

    |



    (155 Laughs)

     
  7. Our drama club was having its cast party at McAlistar's sandwhich shop after one of our shows. The waiter was taking our orders when the girl next to me who happens to be my best friend says, "yes I'll have mine white and twelve inches. I like the extra meat." TWSS.

    |



    (155 Laughs)

     
  8. Today we were doing a science experiment in class, the experiment was to see which gum can blow the biggest bubble. While my friend was blowing the bubble she said, "its too soft to blow!" My other partner said, "Once it gets harder, its easier to blow." Once my friend succeeded in blowing the bubble, she said aloud "damn! I'm a good blower!" TWSS.

    |



    (154 Laughs)

     
  9. I was at work and this woman was talking about the other day when her husband cooked her dinner. She said, "I put it in my mouth and I told him it tasted great, but OMG it made me want to gag so bad." TWSS.

    |



    (154 Laughs)

     
  10. I was getting ready to kill a bug in my apartment last night and my roommate asked why I would want to kill an innocent insect. I replied, "do you really want it going into your mouth when you are sleeping?" TWSS.

    |



    (153 Laughs)

     
  11. One day this one guy was holding a pen in front of my friend's face and kept moving it just out of her grasp when she went to grab it. Without thinking, she said, "It's just not fair, he keeps dangling it in my face and he just won't give it to me!" TWSS.

    |



    (152 Laughs)

     
  12. My history teacher was lecturing the class on the alliances in world war 1. A student asked why Britain was a major power even though it was a small country, the teacher replied "Size doesn't matter, it's how you use it" TWSS.

    |



    (152 Laughs)

     
  13. My friend had just gotten one of those ping pong tables where you can fold half of it up and practice. He then told me in a chat, "I'm gonna go to the basement now and play with myself. Cya" TWSS

    |



    (151 Laughs)

     
  14. Today, I was teaching a couple of my friends how to make oragami tulips. when we got to the last step -- inflating the tulip, my friends had no trouble, but since mine was smaller, it was more difficult. They were laughing at me, to which I unthinkingly responded "Yeah, well, they're easier to blow when they're big." TWSS

    |



    (151 Laughs)

     
  15. My mom got a frosty at Wendy's the other day. It was taking a while for it to come out of the straw so she says "Ugh! I keep sucking and sucking and sucking as hard as I can but nothing is coming out!" TWSS.

    |



    (151 Laughs)