The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. I was working on this math project with my mom today where we had to nail nails into wood. We needed nails with big tops to hold string on and when I put the first one in she said, "No no, its way to thick and those heads are massive, they'll penetrate too far. You have to pull it out before it does any damage." TWSS.

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    (144 Laughs)

     
  2. I am a saxophone teacher and one of my students called me complaining that there was something stuck in the instrument. I told her to take a deep breath and blow out the obstruction. She said, "I'm blowing as hard as I can but it's not coming out." TWSS

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    (144 Laughs)

     
  3. A coworker and I were fixing a toilet paper rack in the men's room at work. We put in the screws and tried to get the rack on without success. Before I could think, I said,"This thing just won't go in," to which my coworker responded,"Maybe we should switch positions."TWSS.

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    (143 Laughs)

     
  4. This morning I got a pop-up from my antivirus software that asked me if I wanted to renew it. I clicked no, and then I got a second pop-up that asked me "Are you sure you want to continue unprotected?" TWSS.

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    (143 Laughs)

     
  5. I was showing my friends how I can put out a match by grabbing the flame with two fingers. One of them asked if it hurt. I replied, "it doesn't hurt if you go fast enough." TWSS.

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    (142 Laughs)

     
  6. I was in my English class the other day, we just finished the written portion of a test and my teacher says "hand in your papers and we'll start the oral portion" my friend then yells out "but I'm not good at oral!" TWSS.

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    (142 Laughs)

     
  7. The other day, a friend of mine was drinking a vanilla milkshake. The milkshake was too thick to go through the straw. She was getting annoyed, and said, "I'm sucking but nothing is coming in my mouth!" TWSS.

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    (142 Laughs)

     
  8. I was reading a book called Fail Nation, and there was a picture of a sign that said "Behold, I come quickly." TWSS

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    (141 Laughs)

     
  9. I had put a bottle of wine back into the fridge, and after a little while my friend pulled it back out, pointed to the cork and said "you didn't put it in far enough." TWSS.

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    (140 Laughs)

     
  10. I was at the Verizon Wireless counter when the guy asked me "So what do you want your phone to be able to do?" I replied, "I just want it to vibrate hard enough so that I can feel it no matter what." TWSS

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    (140 Laughs)

     
  11. I was sitting at a football game with my friend watching the marching band play during halftime. The show was taking forever and my friend goes, "Can this be over soon? My butt hurts so bad." TWSS.

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    (139 Laughs)

     
  12. My dad picked out a Christmas tree the first year I was in our new house and I say "Wow that thing is so big it can touch the ceiling" TWSS

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    (139 Laughs)

     
  13. Once, during lunch at school, a friend of mine had spilled something on her leg and was trying to wipe it off. Another friend of mine then screamed "Stop, the more you rub it, the more it comes!" TWSS.

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    (138 Laughs)

     
  14. Today at lunch a girl sitting across from me was eating a sandwich and said, "Man, that was hard to swallow. You know when you have way too much in your mouth, and it's really hard to swallow?" TWSS.

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    (138 Laughs)

     
  15. My two best friends were exchanging techniques on how to play the Violin. Since I don't play it, I spaced out. After about a minute, I figured they would have changed the conversation.
    As soon as I started paying attention, one of them said "You should start slowly, but as your finger moves up, go a little faster and harder" TWSS

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    (138 Laughs)