The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. I am a saxophone teacher and one of my students called me complaining that there was something stuck in the instrument. I told her to take a deep breath and blow out the obstruction. She said, "I'm blowing as hard as I can but it's not coming out." TWSS

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    (144 Laughs)

     
  2. A coworker and I were fixing a toilet paper rack in the men's room at work. We put in the screws and tried to get the rack on without success. Before I could think, I said,"This thing just won't go in," to which my coworker responded,"Maybe we should switch positions."TWSS.

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    (143 Laughs)

     
  3. This morning I got a pop-up from my antivirus software that asked me if I wanted to renew it. I clicked no, and then I got a second pop-up that asked me "Are you sure you want to continue unprotected?" TWSS.

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    (143 Laughs)

     
  4. I was in my English class the other day, we just finished the written portion of a test and my teacher says "hand in your papers and we'll start the oral portion" my friend then yells out "but I'm not good at oral!" TWSS.

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    (142 Laughs)

     
  5. The other day, a friend of mine was drinking a vanilla milkshake. The milkshake was too thick to go through the straw. She was getting annoyed, and said, "I'm sucking but nothing is coming in my mouth!" TWSS.

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    (142 Laughs)

     
  6. I was in class and our teacher was droning on about the packet. Everyone was yelling and acting restless. Our teacher said, "Come on, settle down." After a couple minutes, everyone was quiet. She then said, "Okay, we only have half an hour and we have a lot to squeeze in here." TWSS

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    (142 Laughs)

     
  7. I was showing my friends how I can put out a match by grabbing the flame with two fingers. One of them asked if it hurt. I replied, "it doesn't hurt if you go fast enough." TWSS.

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    (140 Laughs)

     
  8. I had put a bottle of wine back into the fridge, and after a little while my friend pulled it back out, pointed to the cork and said "you didn't put it in far enough." TWSS.

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    (140 Laughs)

     
  9. I was at the Verizon Wireless counter when the guy asked me "So what do you want your phone to be able to do?" I replied, "I just want it to vibrate hard enough so that I can feel it no matter what." TWSS

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    (140 Laughs)

     
  10. Once, during lunch at school, a friend of mine had spilled something on her leg and was trying to wipe it off. Another friend of mine then screamed "Stop, the more you rub it, the more it comes!" TWSS.

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    (138 Laughs)

     
  11. Today at lunch a girl sitting across from me was eating a sandwich and said, "Man, that was hard to swallow. You know when you have way too much in your mouth, and it's really hard to swallow?" TWSS.

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    (138 Laughs)

     
  12. Today we were in gym class. We were in the locker rooms and my best friend (who's locker is next to mine) is trying to put on her shoe. She got upset because her foot couldn't get into the shoe. After about a minutes she screams (really loud) "It won't go in! Either it's too big or the hole is too small!" TWSS.

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    (137 Laughs)

     
  13. My friend asked me how I did on my French midterm. I got a good grade, and that was most likely because it was a speaking exam, and I’m good at speaking French out loud. So, I replied with, “I’m good at oral.” TWSS

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    (137 Laughs)

     
  14. I was sitting at a football game with my friend watching the marching band play during halftime. The show was taking forever and my friend goes, "Can this be over soon? My butt hurts so bad." TWSS.

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    (137 Laughs)

     
  15. We were watching the forecast and I was in a different room so, without a beat my sister said "Getting pounded by a swift and smooth approximate 10". 75% definite whiteout conditions. There'll be a huge amount of white semi-liquid substance everywhere once the activity has finished near midnight. Maybe even missing work tomorrow from getting hit so hard." TWSS.

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    (136 Laughs)