The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. My dad picked out a Christmas tree the first year I was in our new house and I say "Wow that thing is so big it can touch the ceiling" TWSS

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    (139 Laughs)

     
  2. Once, during lunch at school, a friend of mine had spilled something on her leg and was trying to wipe it off. Another friend of mine then screamed "Stop, the more you rub it, the more it comes!" TWSS.

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    (138 Laughs)

     
  3. Today at lunch a girl sitting across from me was eating a sandwich and said, "Man, that was hard to swallow. You know when you have way too much in your mouth, and it's really hard to swallow?" TWSS.

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    (138 Laughs)

     
  4. Today we were in gym class. We were in the locker rooms and my best friend (who's locker is next to mine) is trying to put on her shoe. She got upset because her foot couldn't get into the shoe. After about a minutes she screams (really loud) "It won't go in! Either it's too big or the hole is too small!" TWSS.

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    (137 Laughs)

     
  5. My friend asked me how I did on my French midterm. I got a good grade, and that was most likely because it was a speaking exam, and I’m good at speaking French out loud. So, I replied with, “I’m good at oral.” TWSS

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    (137 Laughs)

     
  6. We were watching the forecast and I was in a different room so, without a beat my sister said "Getting pounded by a swift and smooth approximate 10". 75% definite whiteout conditions. There'll be a huge amount of white semi-liquid substance everywhere once the activity has finished near midnight. Maybe even missing work tomorrow from getting hit so hard." TWSS.

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    (136 Laughs)

     
  7. Today, my friend was telling me about how she missed a double bus this morning going to school. In her frustration she said, "I was standing there and was like, I always ride the big one, why isn't it coming?!" TWSS.

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    (136 Laughs)

     
  8. My husband and I ate a huge lunch. After waddling to the car, I sat back and reclined the seat. I said, "I'm just going to lay back while you drive me." TWSS

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    (136 Laughs)

     
  9. My friends were meeting at a party, one was on the highway about to approach the exit. My friend said, "Let me know when you're getting off because I want to come at the same time." TWSS.

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    (134 Laughs)

     
  10. I was at school and one of my friends went to sharpen his pencil. He tried to do it and then he said "It's not working." My teacher then proceeded to say "You just need to stick it in there real good." TWSS.

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    (134 Laughs)

     
  11. I got a pretty bad splinter, and I asked my mom what I should do. "Oww, oww, oww! It really hurts! What do I do?" "Put pressure on it!" my mom told me. It didn't make sense to me, so I said, "Why would I put pressure on it? It's inside of me, that'll only make it go in deeper!" TWSS.

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    (134 Laughs)

     
  12. I have just recently earned my drivers license and my sister was talking to me and the rest of my family reminiscing of when she first started driving. "I remember when Dad asked if I was ready to handle a populated road and I was heaps excited but when I came to the intersection, I pulled out too late and a guy came in my ass". TWSS.

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    (133 Laughs)

     
  13. I was reading my social studies essay outloud to my class. I got to my second paragraph which read, "The Trojans were stronger and safer than ever." TWSS.

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    (133 Laughs)

     
  14. I was at this girls house I was dating and she was telling me about how she had to get her upper GI looked at by the radiologist and she had to drink liquid barium to do that. I asked "what was it like"? She says, " Well, it was kind of thick and creamy and it was hard to swallow down...it kept getting stuck in my throat." TWSS

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    (133 Laughs)

     
  15. So during math we had to measure a certain distance with our fingers because we had no rulers. My friend raised my hand and asked the teacher, "Wait how many fingers do I use for this?" (TWSS). My teacher replied, "Well I normally use three, but whatever you want." TWSS

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    (133 Laughs)