The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. I was playing with a koosh ball sitting next to a girl I'm seeing and she say, "if you play with it in front of me, I'm going to want to touch it." TWSS

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    (400 Laughs)

     
  2. The other day at my lifeguarding job we were opening the pool back up after break and Jon yells at me to blow my whistle. I tell him I don't have one, and he says to use Kevin's. I respond with "I don't wanna blow Kevin's! I have no idea where that thing's been!" TWSS.

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    (372 Laughs)

     
  3. In our biology class we have a really annoying guy that loves to annoy everyone. One day he was sitting behind this girl and he started shaking the back of the seat with his legs on the book-holder. The girl told the teacher that he was shaking the chair and the teacher told her to deal with it, the girl replied "but hes doing it so hard and fast!" TWSS.

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    (371 Laughs)

     
  4. Me and my friend were in a CPR class and we were learning the Heimlech maneuver, when the instructor told his partner, "Spread your legs, bend over, and remember, keep going until it comes out." TWSS

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    (358 Laughs)

     
  5. My Track friends and I were talking about Hurdling. One person said, "I don't think I could get my legs over top of those hurdles!." Another girl said, "Oh, well I am used to spreading my legs." TWSS.

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    (355 Laughs)

     
  6. I was trying to take the cap off of my Strawberry Coolatta from Dunkin' Donuts and I was waiting for my dad to come pick my friend and I up. It was really difficult to remove. So I said "I know that as soon as I take my top off, he's going to come." TWSS

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    (344 Laughs)

     
  7. One of my friends was trying to sharpen his pencil with a sharpener that hangs on the wall, which he had never used before. There were different sized holes for different pencil sizes. He asked the teacher, "What hole do I put it in?" The teacher replied, "Show me how big it is and I'll stick it in there." TWSS

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    (314 Laughs)

     
  8. My wife was talking about those thick fruit smoothie drinks and how sometimes the straws get clogged: "You suck and suck and suddenly you get a load in the back of your throat". TWSS.

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    (305 Laughs)

     
  9. The other day I was wearing a pull over with a zipper that goes half way down. It looks relatively stupid all the way down so i put it there trying to make a joke, my friend put it back to the middle, then my other friend put it all the back to the top. Somebody asked why in the world was my zipper at my neck? "Well, it was all the way down, then Jenny brought it up some, and Kristin got it all the way up." TWSS.

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    (296 Laughs)

     
  10. This girl in my English class was talking about how everyone made fun of her. She was talking in slang so she said "Everyday I get rode on. First thing in the morning, I wake up and someones riding on me, its not just guys either, girls too. I get rode on long and hard and they just won't stop. I'm just tired of being ridden on while I'm not ready" TWSS



    (292 Laughs)

     
  11. I was in my karate class, and we were practicing using weapons which we call our "sticks". Our sensei was explaining a defense against an attack, and said: "Face your partner and simultaneously raise your sticks. Then as your partner jabs at you with his stick, move inside so as to avoid the full impact. Then use your left hand to grab their stick, while simultaneously shoving your stick into your partner's face." TWSS

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    (277 Laughs)

     
  12. At the rock climbing wall, somebody there had moved the fake plastic climbing rocks around into a new way. He was showing another person how he had arranged them and said "It's great, because there's a ton of positions and it's still really satisfying." TWSS.

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    (275 Laughs)

     
  13. Today, in Band rehearsal, our conductor was explaining something to us while I was quietly playing my clarinet. This guy next to me said "stop blowing on it!" to which I replied "I'm not blowing anymore! I'm fingering!" TWSS.

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    (272 Laughs)

     
  14. In orchestra, sometimes we write in numbers over notes to remind ourselves of which finger to use on the violin for each note. The best violinist in our class sometimes helped us determine which fingers to use. Our orchestra teacher wisely said "if any of you need a good fingering, John would be happy to help." TWSS.

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    (269 Laughs)

     
  15. We were playing with squirt guns and while my friend was filling one up he took the hose and and got everyone all wet. My friend said "You took it out way to early and im sooooo wet! Put it back in and don't get it everywhere!"TWSS.

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    (256 Laughs)