The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. During a work meeting, my coworker's chair kept sliding down. Our boss said "Get a new chair. I'm not going to have you going down on me while we're talking." TWSS

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    (247 Laughs)

     
  2. My friend's soda bottle overflowed all over the table and I started laughing. She looked up at me in embarrassment and said "Well I tried to get it all in my mouth before it made a mess, but it came out so fast." TWSS.

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    (246 Laughs)

     
  3. I was really thirsty and drinking water out of one of those Camelbak water bottles with the straw. I said, "I wish I didn't have to suck on it. I wish it would just shoot into my mouth." TWSS

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    (243 Laughs)

     
  4. My dad, getting fed up with my sister for freaking out about eating an oyster said "Just close your eyes and shove it in your mouth. Its small, slimy, and a little salty so you swallow it quick so you don't gag." TWSS

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    (242 Laughs)

     
  5. My family was choosing a shower head for our new bathroom when my sister said, "I prefer the ones that are wider and softer over the skinner, harder ones; those just squirt too strong" TWSS!

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    (242 Laughs)

     
  6. While at the beach we had to manually inflate our floats, and my friend said, "The more you blow, the harder it gets." TWSS

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    (241 Laughs)

     
  7. My friend and I were playing mini-golf. After I missed a shot, my friend yelled out "Wow, two holes and you miss them both." TWSS

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    (238 Laughs)

     
  8. A friend of mine made various desserts and this one girl trys them all and then says "The white one doesn't taste any different then the black one." TWSS.

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    (238 Laughs)

     
  9. I was in lunch with my friends, and while telling random stories, whipped cream came up as a topic. So my story was about: my friend, her brother, and i were eating whipped cream, he wanted to spray some in my mouth. while explaining it to my friends in lunch i said: "He whipped it out, tried to squirt it in my mouth, but he missed and got it all over my face!" TWSS.

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    (228 Laughs)

     
  10. My mom and I got some milkshakes at Jack in the Box the other day. The shakes were really thick and hard to get through the straw. My mom was having trouble, so she said, "It's so good I could suck on it all day, it's just hard to get anything to come out." TWSS

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    (228 Laughs)

     
  11. My family and I were cleaning our carpet with a Rug Doctor. There was one stain that wasn't coming out, so my Mom said we would have to get it out by hand. But what she said was, "We'll have to give it a good hand job." TWSS

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    (224 Laughs)

     
  12. In science today, we were complaining to our teacher how her pencil sharpener is horrible. My friend Rachel exclaims, "It only takes the skinny ones too, every time I try putting a bigger one in that tiny hole, the entire thing gets jammed!" TWSS.

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    (223 Laughs)

     
  13. Today in our jazz band rehearsal, my professor asked our bass player, "Are you using the one or two finger attack?" TWSS.

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    (223 Laughs)

     
  14. When i used to visit my grandmother, we liked to talk about anything really. Well this time we were talking about food, the little debbie snacks, more specifically. I said "My favorite treat is the Ho-Hos. Those ho-hos are fully of yummy white cream." TWSS. Then my grandmother continued to say " I love the ding-dongs. They are long and feel amazing when they enter your mouth!" TWSS.

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    (220 Laughs)

     
  15. I was in class the other day when, my friend had a mechanical pencil and the lead was too big she said,"The hole is too small. It won't fit!" TWSS

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    (220 Laughs)