The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. The other day, my class just got new anti-static vacuums to clean the inside of computers. My friend pulls a vacuum out of the case and asks "which side sucks and which side blows?" TWSS.

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    (219 Laughs)

     
  2. I was helping my friend put her new phone on vibrate, it wasn't working so she said, "Can you make it harder? I didn't even feel that last one." TWSS

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    (217 Laughs)

     
  3. In my chemistry exam we had to explain the principle workings of a straw. After the test I told my friend about the question, she replied: "That's easy! You suck on it, the stuff comes into your mouth, and then you swallow." TWSS.

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    (215 Laughs)

     
  4. during the summer, i went to get a bubble tea with my friend. it was her first time drinking it, so she didn't know the name of the tapioca. the woman behind the counter forgot to give her a straw, so she went up and asked "excuse me, how do i suck on these balls?" TWSS.

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    (215 Laughs)

     
  5. A teacher was explaining how to wash a paintbrush: "squeeze it hard..massage it...pull it till all the color comes out...yes it can get a little dirty"

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    (215 Laughs)

     
  6. Today, our teacher was telling us how to use a video camera when she said "You can't just go in and pull out. You gotta stay there for a while. Also, keep it steady, nothing is worse than shaking. You may think you are doing a good job, but people don't like it." TWSS

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    (212 Laughs)

     
  7. Today I saw a commercial with a woman washing dishes bare-handed. The announcer said, "Oh no, she's going in with no protection!" TWSS

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    (212 Laughs)

     
  8. My friend was looking at a picture of her and a guy friend. They were coming back from a theme-park and I said they looked really soaked and sweaty because they were just in the water park. She said "Don't make fun of me, he just got me so wet on that last ride." TWSS.

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    (209 Laughs)

     
  9. My guy friends come over one day and we were getting ready to go somewhere. We were planning on going to our favourite cafe' by cab. So my mom comes to my room and she says "Guys are you sure that you wanna go like that, I'm free, I have nothing better to do and if you want I can give each of you a ride if you guys want, especially you michael, you're my favourite." TWSS.

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    (207 Laughs)

     
  10. The other day I was talking to my friend about my new tongue piercing, not even noticing, I blurted out "it's fun to play with, but I don't wanna stretch the hole." TWSS.

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    (207 Laughs)

     
  11. I was in math and this girl came in with something on her shirt so my teacher asked "What is on your shirt?" And she replied "My boyfriend squirted something on me." TWSS

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    (204 Laughs)

     
  12. Today, me and my friend were trying to fix a pipe in the rain. My friend picks up a metal rod and asks, "Where do I stick this thing?" and then without thinking, I say, "Stick it in that hole, but hurry up, I'm getting wet!" TWSS.

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    (204 Laughs)

     
  13. Today in Literature, my teacher was talking about a certain type of chocolate and said, "I like the long thick black ones." TWSS

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    (204 Laughs)

     
  14. My girlfriend and I were driving down the interstate. The road was really bumpy and making both of us vibrate just enough to make it irritating. Pretty soon it started making my seat shake a little and was making my ass vibrate. I turned to her and said, "I can feel it in my butt." TWSS.

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    (201 Laughs)

     
  15. We were using the computer and overhead projector in English to correct a paper. It wasn't working so my teacher said, "Since we're having problems, I guess I'll just give it to you orally." TWSS.

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    (201 Laughs)