The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. My friend bought an Arizona ice tea from another friend. After drinking some of it he put it down and said, "This thing is huge. I can hardly put my hand around it and it wont fit in my mouth." TWSS

    |



    (200 Laughs)

     
  2. My wife kept squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube instead of from the bottom, which annoys me to no end. So I asked her to squeeze it from the bottom for me. She said, "The stuff comes out no matter where you squeeze it." TWSS.

    |



    (199 Laughs)

     
  3. Today, my P.E. teacher combined classes with the Yoga teacher. The Yoga teacher was doing this weird stretch, and I said "That position looks awkward." She said "Oh, it looks super-awkward for people watching, but it feels GREAT when you're doing it." TWSS.

    |



    (198 Laughs)

     
  4. Me and my friends were at church, waiting for youth group to start. One of my friends fell in a puddle. Another friend said to him "Why is it every time you come, you get wet?" TWSS

    |



    (198 Laughs)

     
  5. My friend and I were talking on the phone, while she was watching her brother put a string through the needle. Out of nowhere she screams in the phone, "He finally got it in!" TWSS

    |



    (198 Laughs)

     
  6. I was getting my blood taken about a week ago. The lady was getting the needle ready. So I say: "It's not going to hurt is it? Should I look away?" She says: "You will definitely feel it inside you. If it feels too hard, then we can slow down." TWSS

    |



    (197 Laughs)

     
  7. Today, I was trying to roll up an air mattress. My mother came in and told me to "do it like I did it last night, knees on the floor." TWSS

    |



    (196 Laughs)

     
  8. I was in social studies class today and we had to do a presentation about some current events articles. One boy did his about how a man got arrested for trying to shove a brick down a womans throat. My friend yelled out to the class, "Why would anyone want to shove something that big in someone's mouth?" TWSS

    |



    (196 Laughs)

     
  9. I was at my friends, playing Super Nintendo when the game stopped working. She took it out and started blowing air into the game slot. When it still wouldn't work she yelled "God, how many times do I have to blow this thing to make it turn on!?" TWSS.

    |



    (195 Laughs)

     
  10. My teacher invited a guest speaker to class last week but nobody showed up. Today, he vented his frustrations out to us and told us she'll come back out next week. He firmly said, "Do you have any idea how long and hard I had to work to get her to come? Let alone, twice!" TWSS.

    |



    (195 Laughs)

     
  11. I was texting a friend and we were talking about how he made captain for JV. I said even though you didn't make varsity, "It still feels good to be on top for once." TWSS

    |



    (195 Laughs)

     
  12. My math teacher was explaining something and we were all confused. He said, "Was that too fast? I'd be happy to do it again but much slower." TWSS

    |



    (193 Laughs)

     
  13. Today me and my sister were listening to a guy singing, who happened to be black. The guy hit a low note and my sister said "I love it when black guys go deep." TWSS.

    |



    (192 Laughs)

     
  14. A couple days ago, my teacher was going over a packet she had printed to find out which questions we would use on an upcoming test and so we could study a little. She had said prior to starting the class that there were about 150 questions on the packet, but we would choose about 50-60 for the test. She said that we were suggesting ones that were too easy and wanted us to challenge ourselves. She started skipping some and reading out harder ones and question 69 was one of the hardest. When no one answered, she then said, "Yeah, it's hard. Why doesn't someone come up here and do 69 with me in front of the class?" TWSS

    |



    (192 Laughs)

     
  15. My friend texted me to ask if I finished reading our reading assignment. I innocently replied, "Yeah, Pedro and I did it last night, but I'm not sure if it counted because he fell asleep half way through. I just kept going though, because I needed to get it done." TWSS.

    |



    (191 Laughs)