The Best TWSS Stories (All Time)


  1. I was watching mythbusters and they were trying to make a crossbow out of newspaper, underwear elastic, and a plastic food tray. Then they were gonna shoot it into ballistics gel. Adam said, "I would be happy with 2 inches of penetration." TWSS. Then Jamie said, "I wouldn't." TWSS.

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    (168 Laughs)

     
  2. 2 guys and 4 girls were all out eating one night at a Korean BBQ restaurant. One of the guys has trouble calculating his part of the bill. Then one of the girls said "Geez, it's like he's never eaten out before!" TWSS.

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    (166 Laughs)

     
  3. In a pathology today after seeing a rather large, inflamed gall bladder - one girl exclaims "Wow! That thing is huge, there is no way that would ever fit inside my body!". TWSS.

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    (166 Laughs)

     
  4. Today in english class, my teacher was giving a description of the new book we're going to read. She said "it turns me off because it's so thick but it's still pretty good." TWSS.

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    (166 Laughs)

     
  5. Me and my co-workers were waiting for work orders to come back from a client for a while, and all the comments were sent back at once. While reviewing the notes I said without thinking about it, "It's not that it's hard, it just all came in at once." TWSS

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    (166 Laughs)

     
  6. While buying groceries: "I'm just going to wrap your meat so it doesn't mix with the eggs." TWSS

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    (165 Laughs)

     
  7. I was eating corn on the cob with my family at dinner, everyone was using the holders that go in the sides of the corn on the cob but my little sister because she was complaining that they were to hard to put in, so she was just eating it with her hands, my mom proceeds to say "would you stop using your hands and just stick the damn thing in!". TWSS.

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    (165 Laughs)

     
  8. Me and a group of friends were at a Mexican food restaurant and when the food arrived one of the girls exclaimed "There's too much meat in my taco!" TWSS.

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    (165 Laughs)

     
  9. Today, my history teacher was talking about a new computer chair he’d purchased. When one of my classmates asked me how he liked it, he replied, “It’s big enough to satisfy me now.” TWSS

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    (164 Laughs)

     
  10. My friend and I were walking to her car after class. She handed me her keys as she was putting her things in the trunk. A little bit later she yelled, "What are you waiting for? Just stick it in already!"  TWSS

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    (163 Laughs)

     
  11. Talking with a friend about an engineering design issue, he said, "I told him I could work with 5 inches but it would cost about $1,000 more than if he could give me 8 inches." TWSS.

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    (163 Laughs)

     
  12. I was eating lunch with a few friends, they decided to order one large drink and just share it between them with two straws. As one of them was taking a drink, they lifted the straw out of the cup while still sucking on it. The other screamed, "Don't pull it out yet! You're not finished!" TWSS

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    (162 Laughs)

     
  13. A friend and I were driving down the road. He said you lost an earring. I then reached down my shirt to see if it had fallen down my shirt. He asked did you find it. Without thinking I replied "it might be in there, but it's so small I don't feel it." TWSS.

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    (161 Laughs)

     
  14. During lunch, my friend wanted some water from someone else's water bottle, but didn't want to drink from it, so he said, "just squirt it in my mouth, but make sure you aim, I don't want it to get all over my face." TWSS

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    (160 Laughs)

     
  15. One day my friend was eating a huge apple. She cried out in excitement, "Holy sh*t! It's so large and tender! I can barely fit my hands around it!!" TWSS.

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    (160 Laughs)