The Best TWSS Stories (This Week)
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Today I was babysitting my nephew and my niece. My niece said something to piss my nephew off so he told her to go suck an egg, to which she replied "I cant suck that! It is way to large to fit in my mouth!" TWSS.
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I was watching Man Vs. Food and the guy asked, 'What is your Favorite part of the crawfish?" The girl said,"The head is the best part, it's very juicy. You need to get it and suck it, suck every little thing out." TWSS.
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Yesterday, I was eating a cheese quesadilla for lunch and a bunch of grease spilled on to my lap, and I said "As soon as I squeezed it, it squirted on me." TWSS.
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I hate my dog and was complaining to my best friend about him. She then replied with "I know, he licks and licks and makes everything wet!" TWSS.
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I was on a date the other night when the guy decided to take me to a Sushi restaurant. It was my first time eating Sushi. When we got there, he ordered a few tuna rolls, picked one up with his chopsticks, and attempted to feed it to me. Not thinking, I blurted out (loudly) "It's so big! I can't possibly fit the whole thing in my mouth!" TWSS.
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On the 4th of July, when my family and I were watching fireworks, we were waiting for the grand finale but it didn't come for a while. We were all sitting there waiting and then I said, "Normally there's a huge climax but for some reason it's not coming." TWSS.
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The other day A friend was playing with his phone in class and the guy behind him started shouting, 'No! Put it away, you can't do that in class!" TWSS.
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Today me, my mom ,and my little sister were in the car. My sister was having a hard time finishing here burger so my mom yells, "Just stuff the damn thing in your mouth and swallow." TWSS.
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I was with two friends & we were listening to my one friend's iPod in the dock. All a sudden the iPod stopped, so my friend went over to plug the iPod back in and said, "It's not working." My other friend said, "Just jiggle it around a little and it should slide right in" TWSS.
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One day my friend and I were talking about swimming in gym. She was complaining about getting her hair in her swim cap and said, "There's too much of it, it wont all go in at once." TWSS.
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So me and my friends are in terrible Los Angeles traffic, with people lining up to get in the clubs on Hollywood Blvd. Well, we saw this white limo Hummer struggling to switch lanes. My friend noticed this and proceeded to say, "He's so big, let the poor guy in. It’s probably already hard." TWSS.
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A friend was asking me about those Camelbak waterbottles and said, "Do you have to suck harder to get more out?" TWSS.
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Today I was walking with my friend and we were listening in to a conversation between two guys. One of the guys said, "Here, I'll just put it in quick and fast." The other proceeded to say, "NO! It's too big, it will rip!" TWSS.
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So, me and a couple of friends were having a small bonfire in an old metal barbecue when we decided to add more fuel for the fire. As I reached to put a piece of wood in the fire she said, "That's quite big, it might not fit. Oh shove it in anyway!" TWSS.
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I work at an amusement park. Today at work, a father was talking to his son, giving him directions for when his daughter got off the ride. He said "Son, after she gets off, then you can leave." TWSS
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