I was walking with my friends at school and one of my friends was telling a really dramatic story. Someone interrupted him in order to ask about a homework assignment. He screamed, "You didn't let me finish!" TWSS

(62 Laughs)


In art class we were rolling out slabs of clay. While working, I turned to the person next to me and commented, "It gets easier the more you do it and you can go faster." TWSS

(45 Laughs)


We were watching a movie in class when in the movie, the guy's ladyfriend is crying. He hands her a tissue and says "Here, blow. It'll make you feel better."

(53 Laughs)


My orchestra was rehearsing a song one day, and we had to stop at measure 70 because one of the clarinetists couldn't get her instrument to sound. Our teacher got frustrated and said, "I don't care how hard you have to try, just blow until it squeaks. Now let's start 69." TWSS.

(246 Laughs)


3 teammates and I were training for cross country practice and one of the girls was complaining that we were going to fast, another teammate yelled at her: "Just suck it up and go faster!" TWSS

(125 Laughs)


My first day of work as a court clerk my boss handed me my first assignment, the "Johnson" case. She explained that she also was working on an unrelated "Johnson" case at the same time. After she gave me my instructions she said, "I need to get back to the other Johnson I'm tending to." TWSS

(89 Laughs)


My husband and I ate a huge lunch. After waddling to the car, I sat back and reclined the seat. I said, "I'm just going to lay back while you drive me." TWSS

(136 Laughs)


The other day, I was at a friend's birthday party and we had ice cream sundaes. When one girl walked away for a minute, someone ate the cherry from her sundae. She came back, saw that it was missing, and screamed, "Hey, who took my cherry?!" TWSS

(91 Laughs)


I went to a full service gas station this afternoon. I got out of my car and grabbed the gas pump to add fuel, when I heard the gas station attendant say "Let me see that hose, I'll pump it for you. You just sit back and relax." TWSS

(271 Laughs)


I was reading a book called Fail Nation, and there was a picture of a sign that said "Behold, I come quickly." TWSS

(141 Laughs)