On a long road trip my wife was entertaining our kids by blowing bubbles with her gum. They were cracking up and kept asking for more. Eventually the gum started to get rubbery and she said, "It's getting too hard to blow." TWSS

I was sitting in class next to my friend who kept pulling on a hole in the leg of my jeans, so I screamed "stop! you're stretching my hole!" TWSS

I was volunteering at the homeless shelter with my Mom and we were talking about putting the napkins on the table when they come through the line and my Mom said, "We have to be really fast when they start coming." TWSS.

So I went to kickboxing with my friends tonight and at the place we go to the instructors really try and get you pumped up. So the instructor who I was kicking with kept saying "Come on! come on! Faster faster! Harder Harder! Come on you can do it!" TWSS.

This morning I was eating a muffin, and my little sister wouldn't stop poking it because she said it felt funny. So without think I yelled "Stop fingering my muffin!" TWSS

Some friends and I went to out to eat and told our guy friend with us that he should give our waitress his number. She came by the table with her hands full and I told him she was good with her hands. Then, she came to our table and said something really stupid, so when she left my girl friend said, "She's good with the hands, bad with the head!" TWSS

Today I was hiking with my brother-in-law and a couple passed us while talking about the trail heads. The woman said to the man: "You have to pay to use the front entrance, but the rear entrance is no charge. I prefer using that one; it's more fun." TWSS.

We were eating dinner the other night and my wife was getting annoyed by my son playing with his food, and she said, " Quit fingering it, and just eat it." TWSS.

Me and my friend were talking about the trombone and he said "It's not how hard you blow, it's all about technique." TWSS.

On "So You Think You Can Dance," judge Mia Michels told said to one of the dancers: "It was fast, it was hard, and you hit everything with perfect accuracy. I loved it." TWSS