Other


My orchestra was rehearsing a song one day, and we had to stop at measure 70 because one of the clarinetists couldn't get her instrument to sound. Our teacher got frustrated and said, "I don't care how hard you have to try, just blow until it squeaks. Now let's start 69." TWSS.

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(104 Laughs)

 

3 teammates and I were training for cross country practice and one of the girls was complaining that we were going to fast, another teammate yelled at her: "Just suck it up and go faster!" TWSS

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(86 Laughs)

 

My first day of work as a court clerk my boss handed me my first assignment, the "Johnson" case. She explained that she also was working on an unrelated "Johnson" case at the same time. After she gave me my instructions she said, "I need to get back to the other Johnson I'm tending to." TWSS

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(75 Laughs)

 

My husband and I ate a huge lunch. After waddling to the car, I sat back and reclined the seat. I said, "I'm just going to lay back while you drive me." TWSS

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(121 Laughs)

 

The other day, I was at a friend's birthday party and we had ice cream sundaes. When one girl walked away for a minute, someone ate the cherry from her sundae. She came back, saw that it was missing, and screamed, "Hey, who took my cherry?!" TWSS

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(83 Laughs)

 

I went to a full service gas station this afternoon. I got out of my car and grabbed the gas pump to add fuel, when I heard the gas station attendant say "Let me see that hose, I'll pump it for you. You just sit back and relax." TWSS

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(247 Laughs)

 

I was reading a book called Fail Nation, and there was a picture of a sign that said "Behold, I come quickly." TWSS

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(130 Laughs)

 

Driving back from picking up a TV, I asked my friend if she had the cables to hook the TV up. She said she wasn't sure because "my box has got two holes and one is smaller than the other." TWSS

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(86 Laughs)

 

I was in a jazz choir class practicing the song "Such Great Heights" and the conductor stopped to tell the sopranos that she needed more from them on the "come down now" lyric. A girl who was struggling with singing the high note for "come" complained, "Ugh, but the come is soooo hard!"

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(70 Laughs)

 

I was in gym class and we were doing rock climbing. I'd just put my harness on and was adjusting it, but having some trouble. Then I put the rope on, tightened the harness, and it hurt. Without even thinking about it, I said to the boy standing next to me, "This hurts between my legs." TWSS

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(149 Laughs)