Other


My girlfriend's mom went to Sonic and got one of their slushy things. They have "happy hour specials", which is a pretty big cup for $1.
She brings one home and says, "I could suck on it all night for only $1!"
TWSS

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(78 Laughs)

 

A friend and I were talking about how he pulled his iPhone out and it slipped out of his hand and hit the concrete. I said, "Yeah, they're slick when they don't have anything on them." TWSS.

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(34 Laughs)

 

I was watching Jersey Shore and Snooki took a bite of food and said: "Mmmm it's so juicy." Pauly D immediately said: "TWSS."

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(31 Laughs)

 

One day in Jazz Band our band director decided to get out the baritone saxophone and she started playing it. After a few seconds she stopped and said, "Man, I could honk on this thing all day!" TWSS

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(26 Laughs)

 

I was with a couple of friends in the park and saw one of these white puffy dandelions. I pointed to it and turned to my friend and said, " I want to blow that one!" TWSS

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(57 Laughs)

 

I was at lunch and one of my female co-workers said, "How do you caulk it, because my husband nailed it but it wasn't filled." TWSS

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(23 Laughs)

 

Last year in physics we were doing a lab and my teacher was telling us how to do this one step. He said, "You have to wrap your hands around it and rub it up and down vigorously." TWSS

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(72 Laughs)

 

I overheard this guy talking about a science experiment gone wrong. Loudly without thinking he said to his friend, "I wish we would have recorded that moment when the thing blew up and exploded all over my face!" TWSS.

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(76 Laughs)

 

I heard some girls talking about going to a friend's house. At one point one of them asked, "Why don't you just come at the same time as me?" TWSS.

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(21 Laughs)

 

I had a substitute for my Civics class yesterday. A couple of students were passing around some hand sanitizer, and the sub snatched it from one of them and gave it back to its owner. As an explanation, she said, "If one of you starts squirting that thing around, this is going to get serious." TWSS

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(26 Laughs)