risqué


I was listening to an Abandon All Ships song and there was this part when he said,
"Put the sauce in your mouth and swallow." TWSS

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(74 Laughs)

 

My brother was using the smallest juice extractor on an orange and when he used it and the juice came out of the wrong area. He said,"The juice keeps coming out of the wrong hole!" TWSS.

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(179 Laughs)

 

I was at a free screening of a movie. Pencils and surveys were handed out to the audience for feedback. As I was leaving, I went to return the pencil and there were two girls holding bags to collect the pencils. I wasn't sure what bag to put it in and one of the girls told me "you can put it where ever you want, it doesn't matter" TWSS

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(105 Laughs)

 

One of my friends was trying to sharpen his pencil with a sharpener that hangs on the wall, which he had never used before. There were different sized holes for different pencil sizes. He asked the teacher, "What hole do I put it in?" The teacher replied, "Show me how big it is and I'll stick it in there." TWSS

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(322 Laughs)

 

A random dude came up to me at school and performed a magic trick on me. Me friend, who was watching, suddenly screamed out as soon as it was done "DO ME! DO ME!" TWSS

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(92 Laughs)

 

My two best friends were exchanging techniques on how to play the Violin. Since I don't play it, I spaced out. After about a minute, I figured they would have changed the conversation.
As soon as I started paying attention, one of them said "You should start slowly, but as your finger moves up, go a little faster and harder" TWSS

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(133 Laughs)

 

One time me and my friend were talking about about our movie experience. Then he started talking about slushies and said, "I sucked on it kinda hard and everything splashed on me, but it still tasted good!" TWSS

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(148 Laughs)

 

Once, my mom was talking to the guy who plows our driveway when it snows. She told him, "You poor thing, you plowed me twice and didn't get paid!" TWSS.

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(248 Laughs)

 

I was sitting at a football game with my friend watching the marching band play during halftime. The show was taking forever and my friend goes, "Can this be over soon? My butt hurts so bad." TWSS.

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(137 Laughs)

 

A friend and I were sitting on an old beanbag chair one day and it was falling apart. So when the foam inside of it started to fall out, my friend said,"What the heck is this white stuff all over the place? It's sticking to my hair!" TWSS

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(178 Laughs)