risqué


Today, my friend did the triple atomic hot wing challenge at a local wing joint. He took one bite of the wing and turned beet red. He then teared up and shouted "Why is this in my mouth!?" TWSS

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(71 Laughs)

 

I was with my friends and while i was shaking a flavored water bottle, My friend says "Shake it hard, that way it'll all come out" TWSS

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(37 Laughs)

 

So I was sitting next to a girl at lunch and I had one of those squeezable Water bottles, but I put juice in it. And I couldn't get it open so she says to me "when you get it open I know just the right way to squeeze it to get all the juice out" TWSS

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(39 Laughs)

 

My sister was eating a piece of fruit for the first time and said with a digusted face, “I had to swallow quickly because I didn’t like the taste of it.” TWSS.

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(69 Laughs)

 

My cousin and his dad were on an aeroplane when a really hot air hostess walked up to them and asked if they wanted any inflight entertainment or snacks. My cousin pointed out to his Dad that they sold Fish Fingers, (one of his favourite snacks) and asked the waitress: "How much for a finger and a movie?" TWSS.

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(57 Laughs)

 

My mom and sister were making fruit smoothies and my sister goes, "Whats that?" My mom goes, "Thats where all the tasty juice comes out." TWSS.

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(27 Laughs)

 

My friend was lying on her stomach during drama class and realized that the floor of the stage had just been painted the day before. She yelled, "I have to change positions! It's all sticky over here!" TWSS

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(62 Laughs)

 

In French class today, I heard my teacher and one of my classmates talking about coffee straws before the bell rang. I heard my teacher say, "Do you know how long it'd take me to suck in order to get a swallow full?" TWSS.

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(64 Laughs)

 

In order to inflate an air mattress my brother needed to attach a hose to a hole in the air mattress. Having difficulty determining which hole to use, he proudly proclaimed, "As soon as I pulled it out I found the other hole." TWSS.

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(33 Laughs)

 

I was in History class when I wanted to put on some hand sanitizer. I popped open the lid and some shot out at me. Without thinking, I yelled out, "Ahh! It just squirted on my face!" TWSS.

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(41 Laughs)