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A friend of mine at work came into my office with pastries galore. After setting the bagel and apple fritter on the desk, she then pulled a muffin out of her pocket. I said "who pulls a muffin out of their pocket?" She then stated, "I didn't have enough hands to hold it!" TWSS

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(12 Laughs)

 

I have Asperger's Syndrome, which means I have challenges with social interaction. Today I met someone who mentioned that he has it, too. So we got to talking about it and how we like small groups of people, but we're shy in large groups of people. He said, in reference to groups of people, "Yeah, the bigger it is, the harder it is." TWSS

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(48 Laughs)

 

Today, my friend and I were discussing my winter job (I work at a sledding hill) and how I won't be working till we get more snow. I ended the conversation with, "We need at least 6 more inches before we can continue." TWSS

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(41 Laughs)

 

My friend was talking about how puffy her cheeks were when she got her wisdom teeth out and my other friend said, "You looked like you had two enormous balls in your mouth." TWSS

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(50 Laughs)

 

I wore a new skinny tie to work and asked my coworker if she liked it. She said, "I don't mind that it's skinny, it's just not long enough." TWSS.

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(56 Laughs)

 

In class today, my teacher was calling on different people to read each paragraph of a news article. The girl behind me got called on to read a particularly lengthy paragraph, but she had an excuse ready: "It's too long and my throat hurts." TWSS

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(61 Laughs)

 

My friend and I were shopping for pipes when she turned to me and said, "the smallest I'll go for is 3.5 inches." TWSS.

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(48 Laughs)

 

Yesterday, my wife and I were looking at new cars. While we were looking at some SUVs we started talking about whether or not we could fit them in our garage, which is up a bit of a hill. We found a really nice Land Rover, to which she said, "It's so big! I can see it getting up there but I don't know if it'll fit in." TWSS

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(42 Laughs)

 

My mom bought some new forks. My sister and i dont like them because they are so much heavier and thicker. My mom was explaining to my grandma why we dont like them and said, "They look thick to begin with, but when you put them in your mouth it is really quite surprising our thick they really are." TWSS

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(41 Laughs)

 

I was playing in a golf foursome. My buddy left his makeable birdie putt short of the hole and said, "Aww, I just needed two more inches."TWSS

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(19 Laughs)