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I was talking to my boyfriend about daylight savings time. I said, "It felt like it was 8 and it was really 6, and it is so dark!" TWSS

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(28 Laughs)

 

I was having spaghetti for dinner. An my mom said " It's not thick enough." TWSS

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(14 Laughs)

 

Today in class my teacher was talking about some chemical stuff when she said, "The longer it gets, the harder it is." TWSS

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(38 Laughs)

 

Today I was texting one of my guy friends and I asked what he was doing. He said he was laying in his closet, so I asked how big his closet was. He replied, "It's not huge, but it's big enough." TWSS

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(28 Laughs)

 

Today in economics my best friend had a piece of paper in his hand that he had taken from my homework. With ninja stealthiness I stole it back. It took him a few seconds to realize it, but when he did he said, "It was so small I didn't even feel it sliding out." TWSS

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(77 Laughs)

 

So the other night, my friend poured her shot in my cup without me noticing and I continued to drink it obliviously. The next day I was trying to explain it to my friends about what happened by saying, "It was unusually long in my mouth." TWSS

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(22 Laughs)

 

My friend and I were going to Subway. He was really excited so he shouted (really loudly), "I can't wait to shove that foot-long in my mouth!" TWSS

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(106 Laughs)

 

The girl in my class was caring for a plant in biology and she said, "It's growing bigger and bigger and it won't stop." TWSS

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(17 Laughs)

 

I'm a violist, and today in orchestra I was trying to play my friend's bass. After a while, I said, "Why do I even keep trying? This thing is bigger than I am. Screw it." TWSS.

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(33 Laughs)

 

I was unpacking in my dorm and I plugged in my extension cord. Alas, it was not sufficient. I said to my roommate, "This is too short. It's just silly." TWSS

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(11 Laughs)