I was reading a book called Fail Nation, and there was a picture of a sign that said "Behold, I come quickly." TWSS

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(130 Laughs)

 

My brother was using the smallest juice extractor on an orange and when he used it and the juice came out of the wrong area. He said,"The juice keeps coming out of the wrong hole!" TWSS.

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(171 Laughs)

 

I was texting my guy friend and I told him to hang on beause I was going to take a shower. When I got done, I texted him back and said, "Okay I'm done. It was long and felt good!" TWSS

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(98 Laughs)

 

Driving back from picking up a TV, I asked my friend if she had the cables to hook the TV up. She said she wasn't sure because "my box has got two holes and one is smaller than the other." TWSS

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(86 Laughs)

 

I was playing a game on an iPad where you put your fingers on the screen and lines of light follow them and make different shapes. My friend was watching me do it and my sister walked in and said to him, "It's way better with two people because you can put your fingers in places they aren't supposed to go." TWSS.

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(237 Laughs)

 

I was in a jazz choir class practicing the song "Such Great Heights" and the conductor stopped to tell the sopranos that she needed more from them on the "come down now" lyric. A girl who was struggling with singing the high note for "come" complained, "Ugh, but the come is soooo hard!"

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(70 Laughs)

 

I was in gym class and we were doing rock climbing. I'd just put my harness on and was adjusting it, but having some trouble. Then I put the rope on, tightened the harness, and it hurt. Without even thinking about it, I said to the boy standing next to me, "This hurts between my legs." TWSS

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(149 Laughs)

 

So me and my girlfriend's siblings were throwing out "That's what she said" stories for a good five minutes. I asked, "Is this ever going to stop?" TWSS

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(71 Laughs)

 

Big Band M.D. conducting a super fast piece: "My arm was KILLING ME by the end of that!" TWSS

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(48 Laughs)

 

At my family's Thanksgiving gathering, we looked out the window and saw my cousin walking through the backyard to get into the house. When my aunt saw him she said "Why is he coming in the back door?" TWSS.

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(109 Laughs)