I was talking to my friend in French and we got asked questions so I whispered to her "why do I always get the easy ones and you get the really big hard ones?" TWSS

I was in math class and there was this huge spider crawling around. When it finally goes in a hole in the carpet someone yells out "Its good, it finally went in the hole!" TWSS

A random dude came up to me at school and performed a magic trick on me. Me friend, who was watching, suddenly screamed out as soon as it was done "DO ME! DO ME!" TWSS

My friends ran up to me and started talking to me about Harry Potter movies and books. One really loved it and the other hated it. The one that hated it said "I hate it! It's so long!" TWSS

My senior class went to Disney for our senior trip. We were standing in line to go on a ride and were using hand sanitizer from touching the railings. One girl's mom goes "hit me up while im still wet" TWSS

My two best friends were exchanging techniques on how to play the Violin. Since I don't play it, I spaced out. After about a minute, I figured they would have changed the conversation.
As soon as I started paying attention, one of them said "You should start slowly, but as your finger moves up, go a little faster and harder" TWSS

I was helping my friend put her new phone on vibrate, it wasn't working so she said, "Can you make it harder? I didn't even feel that last one." TWSS

During class one day, one the the students decided to bring in a cake since it was her birthday. As she was cutting the cake piece by piece, a student told her lick the knife off. So she said, "I'm not going to put it in my mouth then stick it back in!" TWSS.

Today I was getting a piece of pie. When I finished cutting it, I wasn't thinking because I was about to lick the (very sharp) knife and I said, "I almost put this thing in my mouth!" TWSS

So my friend's sister was sitting by me and somebody's backpack was on the table. In one of the netted pockets there was a pear. She seemed enthralled with it until she poked it and said, "Ew! It squirted me!" TWSS