The Office

We are currently building an archive of every TWSS from The Office. We will continue with regular updates to this section until all jokes from seasons 1-5 are posted. ____________________________________________________________________________

Setup: Michael is reflecting on the day’s events in which he outed Oscar as being gay.
Michael: "at least we put this matter to bed."
Michael: TWSS, or he said.

From: Gay Witch Hunt (Season 3, Episode 1)


(43 Laughs)


Setup: A delivery guy is bringing Phyllis a gigantic teddy bear from Bob Vance for Valentine’s Day.
Kevin: "Man, that thing’s bigger than I am.”
(Missed): TWSS.

From: Valentine's Day (Season 2, Episode 16)


(60 Laughs)


Setup: Michael walks into the office and Dwight is at his desk eating grapes.
Michael: TWSS.
Dwight: Ha, I don’t get it
Michael: grapes, seductive

From: Dwight's Speech (Season 2, Episode 17)


(33 Laughs)


Setup: Michael is going through employee complaint records one-by-one to resolve past conflicts. He starts by bringing up the Phyllis-Angela dispute.
Angela: "You already did me.”
Michael: TWSS.

From: Conflict Resolution (Season 2, Episode 21)


(65 Laughs)


Setup: Michael & Stanley are eating their pretzels from the Pretzel Day cart.
Michael: “They taste so good in my mouth.”
Stanley: TWSS.

From: Initiation (Season 3, Episode 5)


(62 Laughs)


Setup: Everyone in the office is laying on the floor in the conference room as part of a relaxation exercise. Stanley’s heart rate monitor keeps beeping when Michael goes near him.
Michael: “Oscar, would you reach over and touch his thing."
Michael: That's what he said, right guys, ‘cause of gay.

From: Stress Relief (Season 5, Episode 13)


(59 Laughs)


Setup: Pam is roasting Michael and brings up the time she walked in on him naked in his office.
Pam: “...his thing is so small. If it were an iPod it would be a shuffle.”
(Missed): TWSS

From: Stress Relief (Season 5, Episode 13)


(64 Laughs)


Setup: Michael is announcing his “retirement from comedy” to the office, following a meeting with corporate about sexual harassment.

Jim: Does that include that's what she said?
Michael: Yes.
Jim: “Wow, that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling.”
Michael: TWSS!

From: Sexual Harassment (Season 2, Episode 2)


(143 Laughs)


Setup: Michael is asking people to watch a sexual harassment video with him.
Jim: “No thanks I’m good.”
Michael: TWSS. Pam?
Pam: “My mother’s coming.”
Michael: TWSS.

From: Sexual Harassment (Season 2, Episode 2).


(69 Laughs)


Setup: Dwight is talking to the camera about how it is hard for him to make sure Michael’s birthday is a success every year.

Dwight: “He gets very excited, but he’s also under a lot of pressure, which builds up until he’s ready to explode…it’s my job to release that pressure, so he can enjoy himself, if only for a moment.”
(Missed): TWSS.

From: Michael's Birthday (Season 2, Episode 19)


(92 Laughs)